heredago's blog

April 11, 2012

Randomly found on reddit frontpage: Quicktips I find Important (self.seduction)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — heredago @ 20:20

I have been having a great time with my girl and some female friends but I have been seeing some interesting things in my life. My girl and I talk about what attracts people and why people do things. She told me some things and noticed that some things were clicking finally. So I thought I would share some things.


  • Girls don’t get romantically involved with safe guys who are not exciting to them. (classic nice guy syndrome)
  • Confidence is not about being right but assuming you are until otherwise proven. Don’t second guess yourself unless you absolutely should. Don’t be a douche about it. If someone can prove you wrong then admit fault and go on about your business, it isn’t the end of the world to be wrong, it can be quite refreshing. You don’t always have to prove yourself either. It isn’t nessesary to always prove yourself right. State what you need to and listen to the opposition. If the concept they are stating is wrong and it isn’t a huge deal then let it go, or at least don’t argue for a long time because it doesn’t matter. Being confident doesn’t mean be arrogant, because arrogance means you are not confident in yourself enough to admit fault. Don’t be a douche, be confident. [1] further explanation
  • Women don’t want a guy who is always agreeing with her. She likes to be teased. Not insulted. Fake insults are teasing.
  • Women want a guy with wit, not rehearsed jokes. Although once in a while a decent canned joke is ok.
  • Being likeable does not mean the same thing as exciting or cute.
  • When you are drunk you are saying and doing things you want to say or do. Have the confidence to say and do those things when you are sober.
  • When girls say let’s just be friends, they are not really asking to be your friend most of the time. This is their way of saying goodbye. I honestly enjoy having female friends but when they say it, it generally doesn’t really mean they want to be friends.
  • Most females that want to be your friend genuinely are actually secretly interested in you. The other small percentage that genuinely want to be just friends are actual confident women who just enjoy the companionship.

The thing is, you got to be interesting. Find things you like to do, talk about, events, etc. Also need to tease more. Women love to be teased. They love the roller coaster of emotion between a real conversation and some teasing mixed in. They don’t want all teasing and they don’t want all serious. Got to mix that shit up. They are real people. You love to tease and joke with your friends but women you get a bonus feature. You get to be more intimate with the jokes and conversations. This is what makes them want to jump you. Be careful because when you get good at it you are not going to be able to get the women to leave you alone. It’s sorta funny after a while. But for now you don’t got to worry about it. Move forward till you see that you have mastered this shit.

Become more fun.

Until you have repeat success with women you don’t want a gf. This means just date a lot of people. Dating is just a series of dates. Dates are just things you do with a person you could possibly be attracted to. Date / dating are just words that give a weird connotation to things. Stop worrying about it.

You want to be good with women before you settle down. If you don’t you are going to suck ass with your gf and eventually you will get married and she will then later get bored and angry with you and leave you for a fun exciting man. It doesn’t matter if you are stable. Women need excitement. You would be bored as shit if your woman was stable but boring as fuck.

Most people do not give themselves permission to be themselves.

I have a few guy friends who aren’t good with women because they don’t give themselves permission to be awesome around women and they think they have to do certain things. Tweak, maybe. Act completely different, no. Women like real men. Not fake ones.

A few tricks to get your brain to say you can do things:

  • Assume she is already into you. Honestly if she is on a date with you, you already have done well and she is already interested to know you better. She wants to know you, not some made up persona.
  • Think as if you are not allowed to game the girl because you already have one. This enables you to be who you are and not care if she is into you or not in which gives you the supreme ability to do whatever the fuck you want. This is a damn good reason guys who are married or are dating women get more attention. The persona they show is who they really are.
  • Realise you get to live once and when that chance is gone you are dead. This should enable you to enjoy life and what it allows you to do. Life is the ultimate sandbox game. You get to do whatever it is you want and it is set on the hardest level possible. Rock that shit. Good chance you won’t die from a conversation with your date.

When I go out dancing and playing pool I wear super silly hats. This tells my brain that everyone already now knows I am a goofy fucker. I no longer have to try and hide that because my cover is blown. I then get to act as I want without recourse because I can only go up from there.

  • Don’t worry if people don’t agree with you if you know they are just being incredibly sensitive. You can’t always have people agree with you. Just make sure you do your best at being an awesome person for yourself. You can’t win them all.
  • If she is a little upset and not wildly upset, let her get over it. You don’t have to get in on every single emotion she has. That just creates problems.
  • If your woman is upset and you know you didn’t do anything you can usually cheer her up by telling her you care, giving her a hug, making funny faces at her, changing the subject all together to something she must dwell on in order to properly converse. Transfer the energy from her shitty thoughts to good thoughts.
  • You can never be sure if someone gives a shit. You can only be sure of what you feel in that moment and yourself. Stop worrying so much about what people think of you because that only makes it worse.
  • If they cheat you probably should move on. That doesn’t mean you can’t be nice to the person. Everyone has their own issues. You may forgive, but not forget. (I love my ex but I will never trust her with a relationship again. That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna be her friend while honoring and loving my current partner.)
  • When a girl says something fucked up and you know if you answer the question logicaly in which you should never have been asked, you need to just be silly or not answer. Shit tests are easy to pass. Some people worry about the wierdest shit and that is why they ask or say some of those dumb things. Don’t play into it because you can’t win. Change the context from serious to silly because those irrational things are fucking hilarious.
  • The power of the word “no” is fucking amazing. You really can’t answer the word no. So if someone says a bunch of things and they are looking for an arguement and their entire arguement is just one giant shit-test kind of thing, the answer “no” is amazingly powerful. Concise, simple, and delivers the hand of God to their face. You then can move on from there to other topics of conversation or just walk away.
  • Women will please you much more than they expect to be pleased. This may become frusterating. Don’t worry about it. The balance is a bit odd with this. (My woman does amazingly huge amounts of things for me and yet I can’t think of enough things to do in order to express my appreciation to her for them. So I just be kind and awesome for her. That seems to work.) Do not get tons and tons of gifts. It will become expected. You do not want that.
  • We are to become the best version of ourselves, not someone else. First you must start by revealing the version of yourself you actually are and then work on that.
  • You may think you are an introvert. Try to be extroverted for a period of time. You may feel physically exhausted. If that ends up being the case after a few months of trying to be extroverted you probably are physically introverted. This is OK. Alpha is about mindset, not nessesarily the length of time you can be exuberant in energy. Introverts & Extroverts are equally capable of being Alpha.
  • Being nice doesn’t mean you are exciting. Women need excitement. Even the nice girls.
  • Being Alpha doesn’t mean being douche.

Speaking of douche… my woman calls me a douche or douchebag sometimes as a tease. She doesn’t mean it but it is hilarious. You can make so many funny comments out of it.

  • Douche. “Wheres my bag?” You don’t get a bag.
  • Douche. “You asking me to clean out your dirty vag?” lololol / hug / kiss
  • Douchebag. “bigga-bagga-douches (sounds itallian haha)”

Have fun, don’t take shit too serious. Life is fun as hell.

  • Everyone has a different background, so don’t worry if they don’t match you.
  • Everyone has a battle. Don’t freak out on people so much.
  • The golden rule states that you should act unto others as they act unto you. It doesn’t state that they will recipricate. Don’t count on it or you will be sorely mistaken.
  • Do not dwell on the ideal outcome of the situation, dwell on the moment and enjoy it for what it is and look at the situations as they come and go down paths you enjoy. If you wanna fuck the girl and it comes up then great you can stear it that way subtley but don’t make it your priority. Make your first priority to enjoy yourself. Make the outcome of fucking the girl an optional goal, not the primary goal. Be outcome independant. Be in the moment, not the future ideal.

Continued from main post…

  • Date many people. When you find the right girl you will click. It will be like she is your best friend but one that you enjoy fucking and being around. Things won’t always be perfect but it will just click. You cannot force a relationship. The girls that you feel you would have to force a relationship with, you want to just friendzone them. The girls that would date you and that you would date but you feel it would fuck your friendship and you dont want to lose it, those are the girls you make your woman. After the blaze of emotions are gone, you want the friendship to remain. The calm but deep rooted love is the best kind. The blaze of glory love that is shallow and quick will fade away. The love that is with a person you are the best of friends with will remain strong even through dumb dumb shit. It will click. You will end up with a ton of legitimate friends that you actually fuck before you find that girl you are going to spend your life with. This is completely OK. When it happens and there are fights, don’t freak out because if you stay calm and so does the other person and you can work it out, those will be the best relationships of your life.
  • You cannot force love. Ever. Love is a force of attraction of two personalities. It stays because of rationality and compatibility of two partners. (unless you are into polymory but the basic structure is two)
  • Desensitization is a great thing. We all have fears. A great way to get over them is to expose yourself to those things a lot until the sting goes away or lessens. Exposure therapy is great. A huge part of why we react badly to things is because we haven’t had time to figure out how to react properly to those situations yet. So give yourself the experience and understand you will fail before you succeed. Hit up those women. Date again after you get dumped. Continue living and you will get better at it. If you stop trying you will lose permanently.
  • Make sure to stay physicaly active. It helps you feel good. The body adapts to your patterns. If you sit all the time it will adapt to that situation and assume you are going to stay with that and change your energy output abilities. If you make sure to include exercise in your routine you will continue to keep the energy. You will feel better than being sluggish all the time.
  • Posture when you walk and sit is important to your overal feeling. Force the body, the mind will follow.
  • Smiling or frowning becomes a habit. Yes it takes practice to smile more often than frowning if you have been sad most your life. Shit happens. Practice smiling at people, they like it and so will you.
  • Take care of yourself, nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t because they feel that you can’t care about them either.
  • Kino / touching others – it is important to have physical contact with people. Touching the light of a womans back, patting a buddy on the back or throwing your arm around them to chat to them about girls or whatever is great. Hugging female friends, chest bumping, dancing and rubbing, etc. are important parts of the human experience. It conveys intimate subcommunications and confidence as well as other things. This is important to learn about and to emplore. It will not just make others like you but you yourself will enjoy yourself more. It is a good thing.
  • Social proof – people are social creatures. Be social, others will notice and see that you are friendly and capable of human interaction. The more human interaction they witness the more they feel you are capable of with just one person. It shows how much value you can convey. It is a subconsious thing. Don’t be a dick to people even if you don’t like them. It is important to show stability and awesomeness of who you really are. An unwavering ability to be unaffected by shitty situations or people.
  • To get a realistic smile you can think of someone attractive naked.

I will add more when I think of them. Have a kick ass week boys.

Quicktips I find Important


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